Tag Archives: politics

Alpha Go For President

According to some, one of the dangers of Artificial Intelligence is that it will take over, relegating humans to a subservient role.  I don’t see that as a danger; it’s what I’m hoping for.  Imagine a government run by rational entities, pragmatic and utilitarian, capable of empathy, using the universe as the ultimate determiner of truth, not driven by greed or selfishness, bigotry or fear, ignorance or willful self-delusion.  As John Lennon would say:  imagine!  When that day comes, I will be voting YES for computers to take over.  I hope you will do the same.

Wacky President

[This is a transcript of a news conference held by the independent presidential candidate, Phillip Diamond.]

Q:  What will your policy be toward the European Union?

A:  If they get out of line, I’ll nuke them back to the stone age.

Q: Do you know what the Constitution is?

A:  Oh my God.  I thought you Jews were supposed to be smart.  Yeah.  Constitution is the stuff that gives you hit points.

Q:  Have you ever taken acid?

A:  Not for at least two weeks.  Know where I can get some?

Q:  Do you know who was assassinated at the end of the American Civil War?

A:  A bunch of people.  Kennedy.  John Lennon.  That guy they named the streets after….  People were getting bumped off left and right.

Q:  What does capitalism mean to you?

A:  You do capitals with, like, people’s names.  And the start of sentences.  Could we stay on topic here, folks?